Nicholas James (1:17): May 2011

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Strong Enough by Matthew West

This song could pertain to any of us but as I listen to the words I can't help think of my Nicholas. I imagine this is what my little boy thinks. Nicholas keeps fighting relying on the Lord's strength to make it through his daily struggles. Nicholas...my hero!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Megan Feeding Nicholas

Do you think he liked it? I think he gagged three times with a major one in the end.
The greatest part was Megan getting the chance to feed her little brother. As a baby she would feed him his bottle so one thing she has truly missed with Nicholas has been that opportunity. She was so excited to be able to go shopping for baby food for Nicholas and then to be able to feed him. This time around it was all about the joy for Megan. A great sight to see. Enjoy and look for even the small blessings in life.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

May 4th 4 years ago

Four years ago on this date our son went from this.....

to this.

That is Nicholas on ECMO or life support. It still hurts my heart so much to see this. Memories and pain come flooding back. Nicholas had heart surgery on April 26th and a week later he "coded." HIs lungs and heart gave out. The surgeon and nurses worked so hard on him trying to bring him back...almost giving up. I remember screaming, pleading to the Lord to save my son. The pain is nothing I can describe. Your heart literally breaks.
The Lord gave me my son back only different. He suffered a severe brain injury that day. And while it is still painful at times, my heart hurting for what could have been, I am eternally thankful to our Lord, doctors and nurses for giving me this precious gift.

Our heroes...our family!

Nicholas, YOU are my hero. You inspire me, you teach me, you've brought me closer to the Lord. I have felt and seen the Lord's love and miracles like I never could have imagined. I will fight for you and with you my son. You have come so far, farther than they ever said possible. Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. We love you Nicholas! We will pray for you and support you through our journey together.

The Broken Gift

In August of 2008, I felt led to begin writing a book about our journey with Nicholas. The purpose of the book was to be twofold: First, I felt a strong sense to intimately share with others our journey of faith. It was my desire that people who were facing tremendous “life storms” as I call them, to see that God is faithful in all circumstances. Secondly, and much more selfishly, I wanted to present Lisa with the ultimate gift, a book about her son.

I began praying that God would open the doors if that were to be His will. I shared this with only one person, Chris Lewis, and asked him to be in prayer with me. Before I gave God the chance to answer me, I had already begun writing. Five months later, I had written six full chapters. During the process, I would occasionally email Chris a copy for his input. Unfortunately, he was a bit too encouraging, and the process continued.

Chapters six and seven began to slow me down. I was beginning to feel that my writing had become more about me than anything else. Additionally, I was becoming concerned that the book was taking on the form of a journal. I knew from research that journal style books were not welcome in the tough world of book publishing.

Chris had a friend in publishing who agreed to read my manuscript and give me advice. His advice stopped me cold in my tracks. It was just as I had suspected, the manuscript was too much of a journal. Strangely though, I was relieved. I had become increasingly frustrated during my writing sessions and now I could just stop. No more writing.

A short time later, I decided that I would share with Lisa the fruits of my secret, double life as an author. I printed the manuscript off in its entirety and gave it to her to read. I had dreamed of presenting her with a paperback book with a picture of her son on it, but this would have to do.

Fast forward to today. The original intent of the book has not changed. I want people to see Jesus when they see our family. I want people to know there is hope. I want people to understand that God is bigger than our circumstances and brings us through them for a reason.

With that in mind, I decided that Nicholas’ blogsite is a great way to still get my “journal” out there, into the hands of people who may be touched by our story. Each week I will add a new chapter.

To read The Broken Gift, click on the chapters below.

Chapter 1 Code Blue
Chapter 2 Back to the Beginning
Chapter 3 New Relationships
Chapter 4 The Arrival
Chapter 5 Life Goes On
Chapter 6 Surgery