Most of you know that I have gone back to school for nursing. Right now I am getting certified to be a nursing assistant then I will go on to become an RN. We just started our clinical time which happens to be in a local nursing home. To be honest, I was not looking forward to this. Honestly it was not my dream to work with elderly. I was leaning more towards pediatrics or the emergency department.
My nursing teacher has been wonderful. She has prepared us from day one with what it would be like to work with the elderly and how to care for them. One thing she shared was this poem called "See Me" It changed my whole perspective.
See MeWhat do you see, nurses, what do you see?Are you thinking, when you look at me --A crabby old woman, not very wise,Uncertain of habit, with far-away eyes,Who dribbles her food and makes no reply,When you say in a loud voice -- "I do wish you'd try."Who seems not to notice the things that you do,And forever is losing a stocking or shoe,Who unresisting or not, lets you do as you will,With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill.Is that what you're thinking, is that what you see?Then open your eyes, nurse, you're looking at ME...I'll tell you who I am, as I sit here so still;As I rise at your bidding, as I eat at your will.I'm a small child of ten with a father and mother,Brothers and sisters, who love one another,A young girl of sixteen with wings on her feet.Dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet;A bride soon at twenty -- my heart gives a leap,Remembering the vows that I promised to keep;At twenty-five now I have young of my own,Who need me to build a secure, happy home;A woman of thirty, my young now grow fast,Bound to each other with ties that should last;At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone,But my man's beside me to see I don't mourn;At fifty once more babies play 'round my knee,Again we know children, my loved one and meDark days are upon me, my husband is dead,I look at the future, I shudder with dread,For my young are all rearing young of their own,And I think of the years and the love that I've known;I'm an old woman now and nature is cruel --'Tis her jest to make old age look like a fool.The body is crumbled, grace and vigor depart,There is now a stone where once I had a heart,But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells,And now and again my battered heart swells.I remember the joys, I remember the pain,And I'm loving and living life over again,I think of the years, all too few -- gone too fast,And accept the stark fact that nothing can last --So I open your eyes, nurses, open and see,Not a crabby old woman, look closer, nurses -- see ME!This poem was found among the possessions of an elderly lady who died in the geriatric ward of a hospital. No information is available concerning her -- who she was or when she died. I walked into that nursing home Saturday morning ready. Ready to meet my residents, ready to make a difference, ready to show them that they are loved and cared for. I was crying within the first hour. I lost it. What I saw broke my heart. I told my teacher that I couldn't do this. I couldn't stand to see these people like this. She replied "Lisa, you can do this. You crying shows you care, shows that you see that a difference needs to be made." I was very doubtful.
You see, I saw elderly people in wheelchairs, sitting in corners, sitting at tables waiting for food,sitting at the nurses station waiting to be spoken to, yet everyone was too busy. Too busy to stop and say "hello" Then I saw the cerebral palsy man. A man in his forties. His mother had cared for him his whole life. She recently died and he had no one else so the state put him in this home. There he sat. Alone. Not understanding what was happening. Where was his mom? Why was he there? Heartbreaking. I thought of my own precious son. And that was when I lost it.
Please don't get me wrong. This really is a good nursing home. These people care but there is not enough of them to help each resident. So there was our goal. We divided up and went to each resident, talked to them, bathed them, fed them, showed them love and attention. The more I helped, the better I felt.
I had one elderly man who I had to help in the bathroom. He could go by himself but couldn't wipe. So there I was, bent down, wiping him. There was no embarrassment at all just the need to help. When we were done he gave me the BIGGEST grin ever and said "thank you" My heart melted. There we sat and talked. We talked of his kids, racing, his grand kids, racing, his wife who had been gone for 11 years now, racing. I know a lot about racing now! When we were leaving I had comments such as "thank you for talking with me," "will you come back," and my favorite "well, aren't you a cute one!"
It was a day I will never forget. It has changed me for the better. I look forward to going back and being with my "new friends" that have blessed me. They did. They blessed ME that day.
See Them. See them for who they are on the inside and not what they look like on the outside. You'll be blessed too.
