I'm a mother therefore I have the right to cry.

I am a mother therefore I stand firm on having the right to cry whenever I want to. Whether they are sad tears or happy tears, I will cry and it is ok. Motherhood and crying go hand in hand. I never used to cry. Never! Now as a mom I cry all the time. It was rather annoying at first but now I just roll with it. THAT'S how I roll (isn't that the new slang kids use???)

I remember when this over usage of tears began. November 19th, 1998. Stephen David Richardson was born. My first born son. My baby. I did not cry when he was born but boy did I cry during labor! Ouch! I did not even cry when they put him in my arms. No tears. I was happy and overjoyed but no crying. I made Stephen stay all the time. He couldn't leave. What would I do if he left and Little SD poo-pooed or started crying. Well Stephen did leave me at one point to go home. I prayed SO hard that my baby would not cry or stinky his diaper. Didn't work. He started crying. So I tentatively made my way over to his hospital bassinet and picked him up. I took him back to my bed and tried to soothe him. He looked into my eyes and stopped crying. That was it. That was THE moment. My tears started flowing. I was a mom!! This was my baby!! Today 3 more children later and I am still crying.

So this morning was one of those crying moments. I had just read Amber's update on sweet JuJu (http://littlepapiandpunkin.blogspot.com/) Julia is receiving therapy for cancer and has just started losing her hair. Please read and pray for this sweet family. As I read Amber's words, I couldn't help but cry. Cry tears for Amber and Julia.

That's when the phone rings. It is the surgical center calling for Megan and Brandon. On Friday the 22nd they will BOTH be getting their tonsils out. This sweet elderly woman on the phone needs to gather weight info, allergies, etc. Please be here at 6:00 in the morning. Megan will go first at 7:30 and Brandon will go at 8:30. They will be on IV's but we won't do that until they are under so they won't be scared. This is where I lost it. The tears start flowing.

Side note.....the Surgical Center just called to tell us the price after insurance for anesthesia and for the use of the center- times 2! Ouch...tears are flowing.....

Scared. I don't want them to be scared. I don't want them to hurt. They are my babies. I will cry Friday. I will be brave for them but as soon as they head back without me, the tears will flow. I will cry for them when they are 40 years old and get hurt. I am their mother. I want to protect them as much as I humanly can.

But as with everyday when we let our children go and grow just a little bit more to experience life, I will lay them in the arms of our Lord. He will protect them. He will love them. He will cherish them. They are His. He will hold every tear I cry for my children in His hands and He will understand. As a mom, I will cry when my son slides into home. Go Stephen! I will cry when Megan brings home that 100 on her spelling test. I will cry when Brandon "graduates" from preschool. I will cry when Nicholas looks at me and with all of his strength tries to talk. I will cry that sweet JuJu has to lose her hair along with dealing with this ugly cancer. And I will cry tears of joy the day I meet my Lord and Savior. Tears of joy that He gave His life for me so that all of my sins would be forgiven and we would all have eternal life. What an awesome God!